I’ve just looked back and haven’t written for so long, but it has been a strange couple of years to say the very least. Last week was Tilly’s birthday and she would have been ten, and all at once it seems so long ago and like it was just yesterday with some memories so clear and some just like a hazy dream. It is almost impossible to explain how it feels, but I can say that even now not a day goes by when I don’t think of her or when my heart doesn’t break just a little.
You shouldn’t think that I am sad all the time, or that we live under a black cloud, but just know that we are living our lives differently than we thought we would. We are happy and we have each other but we should have been a team of four. We lay flowers, we talk about her and we remember, but as time goes by less and less others remember and that is hard because it’s as if she didn’t exist. And I don’t blame anyone for that, I can’t remember birthdays or anniversaries so I don’t expect people to remember her birthday. But even if you don’t remember her birthday or the day she died, if you think of her don’t be afraid to mention her, say her name. She is part of my story.