On Saturday the 22nd of September Tilly would have been 6 months old. I will think of the picnic that I had in the gardens at Hampton Court and the excitement of meeting our beautiful girlnfornthe first time before I allow myself to dwell on the painful events that followed. You know, people tell me how brave I am and how amazing I am doing and I think about a couple things. I think I will never have got through the last six months without my family and friends and of course Russ. Also, and I think that this is really a mindset that has kept me going, the alternative route is not an option. No amount of moping around, self pity, alcohol, aggression or anger will bring Tilly back. I have still have to be ‘Mummy’ for Darcy, my friends still need me when they are having bad days, Russ still needs me to be here to support him and I still need to be the best person I can be. Now, I am not saying that I can do this all the time but I owe to everyone who supports me to try. And I do. Every day.